Remember the Good Times

I found a journal I kept of my freshman year at college. I had a list of "things that made me smile today..." Life is funny. Here are a few of those moments.

• We found out that the disposal we thought we were using was actually the fan and the disposal is under the sink. 
• It's fall and I saw a leaf fall from a tree
• In my Book of Mormon class we were having a discussion. Someone said something and my teacher said, "Good! Ten points for Slytherin!"
• I saw a lot of leaves fall from a tree!
• I can check out 50 books at the BYU library! :) 
• My sister told the check out lady at the grocery store, "Don't squish my cans!"
• My friend from work, "Boys, you can't live with them.... and apparently you can't receive salvation without them." 
• As I was pushing a cart at work, all of the sudden a container few off. The container did a flip and I totally caught it full of cottage cheese after it flipped without a morsel spilt.
• This morning a bird flew into the glass door in the front of my dorm. As I stood in shock, I saw a feather drift to the ground.
• A friend gave me a gift on my birthday with a note. She asked me if I had read it and I so I opened it up and found a recipe for a tuna casserole. Ha ha!
• That same friend also thought buffalo were extinct... heehee

I laughed at these small but funny moments and recognized I haven't been doing this lately. Isn't life better when we can see the good?

Holding On

That's what we do... and sometimes that isn't a good thing.

Have you ever thought why we hold on to things that don't do us any good?

Like old notebooks. I tell myself that someday I might want to see those things but how many times have I actually done it? Zero. 

What about the past? Sometimes we hold onto things hoping that maybe just maybe it might come back. Oh, I think that we should hold on to good memories and relish in that fact that they happened. However, wishing so hard that it comes back and obsessing over it isn't healthy at all! I've gone over and over this. I finally realized that personally, I wasn't having hope. Hope for things to come and promises to be kept. That's what keeps us moving forward instead of getting stuck in the rut of life, never moving forward.

I ran across this scripture in my study that reminded me that no matter what has happened, there is something to look forward to. 

But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.

2 Nephi 9:18

I hope to always see the bright shining future that waits for me if I keep going on through the good and bad.

Sunsets, Stare Downs and Make-up

You may be wondering how all the items above fit together. They don't.

You hear the phrase, "and they rode off into the sunset" like it was supposed to be romantical and dreamy. I drove to the store the other day- right into the sunset and the only thing it was... was blinding. Running away with someone into the sunset would cause more problems than take away. No one would be able to see anything! However, the phrase "riding away with their backs to the sunset" doesn't quite sound literarily beautiful. Maybe "the sun arose lighting the path before them". That one works, right?

Besides finding phrases unromantic, I've been having a hard time this past week with the whole look down or make eye contact at an awkward distance. Normally I don't have a problem with this but I've noticed that people won't look at me for anything. What is up with people? Is it really so bad to look someone in the eye and say hello? I rarely come across someone who will look me in the eyes and say a passing hello.

I understand though, especially deciding if you will say something, when to do it. It's awkward approaching someone in passing. Sometimes even I go to the other side of the street in an attempt to avoid the situation. Do you look away until you are within a few feet? Or wait til they already passed? How about when you awkwardly make eye contact from a distance but it's too far away to say anything. Then you have to look away and then say something when you get close enough. Social dilemmas.

Knowing when and why to do things causes stress. Sometimes it's just nice to not have to worry. That's why I've come to love bedtime. I rub off my make-up and see just myself. Of all parts of the day, it's the time when I like myself the best. I see just myself staring back at me. No masks and problems about sunsets or stare downs. I'm me and that's enough for the moment.

Answers

God has an interesting way of of answering our prayers. I know that patience plays a big part of it and I know that things turn out if we are following the path of righteousness.


Example


I went to bed one night distressed about my circumstances and how things weren't turning out the way I wanted them to. I woke up the next morning to feel a cool breeze and so I looked out the window and  saw a rainbow in the sky. There is no way for me to describe how I KNEW that God loved me in that moment and that I KNEW that he existed and wanted me to be happy. I couldn't deny the evidence. The feeling that He knew that putting those colors in the sky would make me remember all those things was so clear to me.


And Patience


I was reminded of those feelings that I had when I already got an answer to my prayers. Does that even make sense? I was waiting for an answer that I already got. I just needed to recognize it and move forward. 


For a lack of better words, I know that Heavenly Father has got our back. He is there for us and we need to go forward with faith and optimism-even when it seems like we can't find an answer.

Ranch Dressing

My sister and I got to help out at a ranch this week doing the food for a bunch boys around 12-15 years old.   Sorry nothing really about salad or food, but I definitely felt my life 'spice up' a little these past few days. I feel like a good salad dressing can make a big difference to an otherwise boring pile of lettuce.

So what exactly happened to put a kick into my otherwise monotonous life? Well, while we had the opportunity to go on horseback rides and explore a little bit, it was nice to get away for a little bit. We got to hang around a great group of boys up in the mountains and hear about how they chopped wood and helped out a lady or went to go buy food. However, I must say that it wasn't the only thing I enjoyed... I loved the comments those boys made.

Number 1
A returned missionary from Brasil was going to tell the boys a bed-time story. Our room was off to the side and we could hear through the door. Before the story got started, the boys chatted and one randomly called out, "So do you call your self half Mexican because you served in Brazil?". Another boy shortly answered the question by saying, "Uh... no, it would be half Spanish!". We had a good laugh over that one.

Number 2
Yet again, as the boys were settling down the counselor gave the boys 30 seconds to be quiet. One started counting down from 30 in a loud voice... somehow when he got to 20 he stopped and said, "uhhh...". Someone else picked up for him when he couldn't remember what came after.

I had a few good laughs at the things they said and I must say that I was really impressed by those boys. They were there to learn more about service and living in the outdoors. We were always thanked for our work and we never had to do the dishes! Thanks to a couple of wonderful counselors too!

I'm so glad places like that exist. A place where you can feel free and get away. Even though I didn't participate fully in all the activities, I feel like I was a part of it and I definitely got to see how good people that do simple things can make a big difference. A little 'dressing' can go a long ways... especially if it's Ranch.

Without Going to Pieces

My roommate randomly showed this article to me. I liked the message that it shared... so I'm sharing it with you! It comes from an Ensign article entitled "Breaking Up without Going to Pieces: When Dating Doesn't End in Marriage" M. GAWAIN WELLS. I thought it was an interesting topic to address and when pondering about why all this is necessary in life, I found gospel principles at the root.

He begins-

"The Lord has given us some important guidelines for relationships—and they apply to all relationships, including dating. We’re counseled to treat all people charitably and kindly, to forgive, and to love not only God and others but also ourselves."

I just had to think, "Wow!". Of course it makes sense. Just because a relationship doesn't work out, even when it is hurtful, all are children of God and we have to keep the commandments. He goes on-

"While you may learn valuable lessons from failed relationships, it’s not necessary to impute further meaning to the break-up. That is, I don’t believe the Lord intends you to be hurt again and again for the sake of “learning experiences.” I believe that He wants you to know the joy that comes from understanding, trusting, and loving someone in an honest, giving relationship. Hopefully, you can learn what is valuable from the experience without punishing yourself or seeing the experience as punishment."

That may be hard to see sometimes but I believe that it's true. I think that it's hard to not beat yourself up. Asking yourself why you weren't good enough or what you did wrong... but it's all part of the process. Would you actually WANT to be married to a person who didn't care all that much? Of course not. But it doesn't make it that much easier. What makes it so great is finding your best friend and being able to talk forever about nothing and everything. It's about having those good experiences too.

I loved his perspective on the whole subject and the reminder that the gospel applies to everything- and that includes dating.

My New Friend

I made a new friend at work. It always amazes me at how the more we get to know people, the more we can understand and love them. I asked this wonderful woman how she met her husband and was favored with this reply.


She met her husband at church but he was going away to school so he encouraged her to apply for her visa. She had already tried many times but went at his insisting and heard the words, "Welcome the the United States of America!". She was thrilled.


She told me about how in her culture, people just hug and go out just to be friendly. They aren't necessarily romantically interested, just nice and friendly.


One day, however, someone came by and gave her a big hug and then they went out to dinner... and the boy who had wanted her to come saw it. He got a little stirred up about it and maybe a little jealous. It must have made him realize what he wanted so he then asked her to marry him. To which she said yes.


She laughed about how she really had no interest in the other boy. She wasn't worried about it.


I reflected on this and realized that sometimes we don't really appreciate what we've got or have in our grasp until that very thing almost gets taken away. 


That guys was lucky and I sure hope I don't let something good get away from me before I realize just how good it is!

A Beautiful Life

I have a really good friend who once wrote to me about having a beautiful life. She made the comment that she thought that I would have one.

Sometimes I don't know where that life is. I want to find it so bad but some times it seems out of reach.

I've realized that I can't sit around waiting for it to happen. I have to make it happen. I have to create my beautiful life. What makes it beautiful is knowing what was ugly. What makes it sweet will come from having known the bitter. It's hard going through those moments. Hard and hurtful and everything imaginable... but necessary to create that beautiful life.

To me that seems a life filled with the Spirit and knowing that the path taken is the path acceptable to the Lord. It doesn't mean we have everything we could ever want. Not the best car or a house or money or a job. It comes from what we are making ourselves into. I truly believe that.

I know that my beautiful life will result in what I have become and one day all the trappings will melt away. All the awards I have won and the degrees or certificates won't mean a thing if I haven't become that beautiful person with a beautiful life.

And We're Back!

It's about time for a new post! Sometimes I wait until I feel really inspired to write about something... this is not one of those times. I just feel like talking about what's going on in my life.

I moved up to Provo! I forgot how things were up here though. I got quite a shock as I went to FHE in my first single's ward back from the mission. The guy who said the opening prayer asked that many people would be asked out on dates... crickets... a few giggles... I just felt awkward as I shut my eyes tighter and tried to pretend I wasn't there. Oh, BYU!

On the other hand, I was so lucky to move into an apartment with some wonderful girls! I have loved every second that I've had with them! I sure did get blessed on this one!

I won't lie. I miss my friends. The ones in Cedar, others in Logan, and a lot sprinkled around the world spreading the good news of the gospel. It's hard feeling like I am starting from scratch... but what does that really mean anyway? You might not have a complete strawberry cream cake but at least you have the basics to start out with like having eggs and flour. I have nice people around, good roommates and little by little you make that into a delicious confection. A double chocolate fudge isn't the same things but it sure is tasty!


My motto has been forward with faith these last few weeks. I want to keep heading in the right direction. It'll all turn out just right.

It's NOT my birthday... but I cried anyway...

I bawled today.


Nothing personal. Really. That 's probably why I cried.


I went to a fireside tonight that was... interesting. I came home grabbed The Mountain of the Lord and went down to my room to watch it. I forgot the popcorn though! Anyways... it was great. Afterwards I decided to watch a few "Mormon Messages" to you know, put the cherry on the top. 


That's when I realized that the Atlantic Ocean was slowly entering my room. The tides crept up and wham! There was water everywhere! How embarrassing. I know. Well maybe not. I was touched by all of the stories of people who I have never met but have so much to deal with in life. I thought about their situations and listened to their stories and then I cried. Funny thing about all of this is that I've seen all of them before.


It really touched me to see the faith and devotion that people have in the Savior. Because a lot of people don't have that in their lives. During Sacrament, I pondered on how we can make the gospel and Him a more important part of our lives. I know that it's important but how can we make it part of our every day lives and give it the importance that it deserves? Sometimes we don't think twice about going to church and the real reasons. I then thought of John 7:17. If you want to know why it's important then you have got to try it out and THEN you'll see why. That's how it becomes a reality in our lives- by living everyday what we believe. That's how those people got through their challenges and were able to be examples to those around them.


For good measure... I had to watch the marshmallow message about patience to cheer me up. Hope it makes you happy too! Here it is

In the Ground

The Oak Tree

by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

A mighty wind blew night and day.

It stole the Oak Tree's leaves away.

Then snapped its boughs

and pulled its bark

until the Oak was tired and stark.

But still the Oak Tree held its ground

while other trees fell all around.

The weary wind gave up and spoke,

"How can you still be standing Oak?"

The Oak Tree said, I know that you

can break each branch of mine in two,

carry every leaf away,

shake my limbs and make me sway.

But I have roots stretched in the earth,

growing stronger since my birth.

You'll never touch them, for you see

they are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn't sure

of just how much I could endure.

But now I've found with thanks to you,

I'm stronger than I ever knew.

A few years ago Elder Scott shared this poem. I liked it! Sometimes we don't exactly know what kind of trials we can endure until they actually happen.

Not meaning that we're just ready to go! I am sure it took time for the Oak tree's roots to grow deep. Day by day we find our roots growing deeper if that's what we're focusing on. The small and simple things count! And we'll see the result when the wind blows and it feels like we have nothing left but the roots of our soul.

Just some thoughts.

Adjustments

Life is always changing. We are always changing. 

So what changed for me since I've been home?

Everything. But I'll just give the top 10.

10- Speaking in English. I had to say the prayer my first night back... in English. That probably the hardest thing I have ever done!

09- Using modern marvels. I woke up one morning to use the bathroom. I entered and glanced at the trashcan and thought, "why in the world is it so far away from the toilet?"... Yeah, you can flush the toilet paper here.

08- Not visiting people every day. Even when people were busy or didn't want to listen at least we got to talk a little bit.

07- Feeling guilt for even thinking about not exercising. I don't feel that now. Maybe I'm just lazy. I know we have to take care of our bodies and it's really important but now I can say tomorrow and feel okay about it.

06- Eating lunch with the members. Maybe some people wouldn't agree but not having to worry about who's going to make the food is a huge blessing. I loved it!

05- Getting letters! There is just something special about ripping open an envelope and reading handwritten words. It's amazing.

04- Having a set schedule and goals and plans for every day and every hour. I sure did get a lot done! Which reminds me I need to get a planner...

03- The funny things people would say like, "my dog can smell evil" or "I'm gonna call the PO-lice on ya'll!"

02- Knowing that I was helping someone feel God's love. I loved it when people would say, "I just feel better now" or "You bring a peace with you".

And last but not least...

01- My name tag. It was special time to be able to declare with boldness that I was a representative of Jesus Christ.

I know that life goes on in it's natural course. We should always be changing to have more confidence, more faith and definitely to be more Christlike. We learn and we grow and we continue. And that's something that I'll always be grateful for- the chance to have these experiences. Aren't we blessed?