Without Going to Pieces

My roommate randomly showed this article to me. I liked the message that it shared... so I'm sharing it with you! It comes from an Ensign article entitled "Breaking Up without Going to Pieces: When Dating Doesn't End in Marriage" M. GAWAIN WELLS. I thought it was an interesting topic to address and when pondering about why all this is necessary in life, I found gospel principles at the root.

He begins-

"The Lord has given us some important guidelines for relationships—and they apply to all relationships, including dating. We’re counseled to treat all people charitably and kindly, to forgive, and to love not only God and others but also ourselves."

I just had to think, "Wow!". Of course it makes sense. Just because a relationship doesn't work out, even when it is hurtful, all are children of God and we have to keep the commandments. He goes on-

"While you may learn valuable lessons from failed relationships, it’s not necessary to impute further meaning to the break-up. That is, I don’t believe the Lord intends you to be hurt again and again for the sake of “learning experiences.” I believe that He wants you to know the joy that comes from understanding, trusting, and loving someone in an honest, giving relationship. Hopefully, you can learn what is valuable from the experience without punishing yourself or seeing the experience as punishment."

That may be hard to see sometimes but I believe that it's true. I think that it's hard to not beat yourself up. Asking yourself why you weren't good enough or what you did wrong... but it's all part of the process. Would you actually WANT to be married to a person who didn't care all that much? Of course not. But it doesn't make it that much easier. What makes it so great is finding your best friend and being able to talk forever about nothing and everything. It's about having those good experiences too.

I loved his perspective on the whole subject and the reminder that the gospel applies to everything- and that includes dating.

My New Friend

I made a new friend at work. It always amazes me at how the more we get to know people, the more we can understand and love them. I asked this wonderful woman how she met her husband and was favored with this reply.


She met her husband at church but he was going away to school so he encouraged her to apply for her visa. She had already tried many times but went at his insisting and heard the words, "Welcome the the United States of America!". She was thrilled.


She told me about how in her culture, people just hug and go out just to be friendly. They aren't necessarily romantically interested, just nice and friendly.


One day, however, someone came by and gave her a big hug and then they went out to dinner... and the boy who had wanted her to come saw it. He got a little stirred up about it and maybe a little jealous. It must have made him realize what he wanted so he then asked her to marry him. To which she said yes.


She laughed about how she really had no interest in the other boy. She wasn't worried about it.


I reflected on this and realized that sometimes we don't really appreciate what we've got or have in our grasp until that very thing almost gets taken away. 


That guys was lucky and I sure hope I don't let something good get away from me before I realize just how good it is!

A Beautiful Life

I have a really good friend who once wrote to me about having a beautiful life. She made the comment that she thought that I would have one.

Sometimes I don't know where that life is. I want to find it so bad but some times it seems out of reach.

I've realized that I can't sit around waiting for it to happen. I have to make it happen. I have to create my beautiful life. What makes it beautiful is knowing what was ugly. What makes it sweet will come from having known the bitter. It's hard going through those moments. Hard and hurtful and everything imaginable... but necessary to create that beautiful life.

To me that seems a life filled with the Spirit and knowing that the path taken is the path acceptable to the Lord. It doesn't mean we have everything we could ever want. Not the best car or a house or money or a job. It comes from what we are making ourselves into. I truly believe that.

I know that my beautiful life will result in what I have become and one day all the trappings will melt away. All the awards I have won and the degrees or certificates won't mean a thing if I haven't become that beautiful person with a beautiful life.

And We're Back!

It's about time for a new post! Sometimes I wait until I feel really inspired to write about something... this is not one of those times. I just feel like talking about what's going on in my life.

I moved up to Provo! I forgot how things were up here though. I got quite a shock as I went to FHE in my first single's ward back from the mission. The guy who said the opening prayer asked that many people would be asked out on dates... crickets... a few giggles... I just felt awkward as I shut my eyes tighter and tried to pretend I wasn't there. Oh, BYU!

On the other hand, I was so lucky to move into an apartment with some wonderful girls! I have loved every second that I've had with them! I sure did get blessed on this one!

I won't lie. I miss my friends. The ones in Cedar, others in Logan, and a lot sprinkled around the world spreading the good news of the gospel. It's hard feeling like I am starting from scratch... but what does that really mean anyway? You might not have a complete strawberry cream cake but at least you have the basics to start out with like having eggs and flour. I have nice people around, good roommates and little by little you make that into a delicious confection. A double chocolate fudge isn't the same things but it sure is tasty!


My motto has been forward with faith these last few weeks. I want to keep heading in the right direction. It'll all turn out just right.

It's NOT my birthday... but I cried anyway...

I bawled today.


Nothing personal. Really. That 's probably why I cried.


I went to a fireside tonight that was... interesting. I came home grabbed The Mountain of the Lord and went down to my room to watch it. I forgot the popcorn though! Anyways... it was great. Afterwards I decided to watch a few "Mormon Messages" to you know, put the cherry on the top. 


That's when I realized that the Atlantic Ocean was slowly entering my room. The tides crept up and wham! There was water everywhere! How embarrassing. I know. Well maybe not. I was touched by all of the stories of people who I have never met but have so much to deal with in life. I thought about their situations and listened to their stories and then I cried. Funny thing about all of this is that I've seen all of them before.


It really touched me to see the faith and devotion that people have in the Savior. Because a lot of people don't have that in their lives. During Sacrament, I pondered on how we can make the gospel and Him a more important part of our lives. I know that it's important but how can we make it part of our every day lives and give it the importance that it deserves? Sometimes we don't think twice about going to church and the real reasons. I then thought of John 7:17. If you want to know why it's important then you have got to try it out and THEN you'll see why. That's how it becomes a reality in our lives- by living everyday what we believe. That's how those people got through their challenges and were able to be examples to those around them.


For good measure... I had to watch the marshmallow message about patience to cheer me up. Hope it makes you happy too! Here it is

In the Ground

The Oak Tree

by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

A mighty wind blew night and day.

It stole the Oak Tree's leaves away.

Then snapped its boughs

and pulled its bark

until the Oak was tired and stark.

But still the Oak Tree held its ground

while other trees fell all around.

The weary wind gave up and spoke,

"How can you still be standing Oak?"

The Oak Tree said, I know that you

can break each branch of mine in two,

carry every leaf away,

shake my limbs and make me sway.

But I have roots stretched in the earth,

growing stronger since my birth.

You'll never touch them, for you see

they are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn't sure

of just how much I could endure.

But now I've found with thanks to you,

I'm stronger than I ever knew.

A few years ago Elder Scott shared this poem. I liked it! Sometimes we don't exactly know what kind of trials we can endure until they actually happen.

Not meaning that we're just ready to go! I am sure it took time for the Oak tree's roots to grow deep. Day by day we find our roots growing deeper if that's what we're focusing on. The small and simple things count! And we'll see the result when the wind blows and it feels like we have nothing left but the roots of our soul.

Just some thoughts.

Adjustments

Life is always changing. We are always changing. 

So what changed for me since I've been home?

Everything. But I'll just give the top 10.

10- Speaking in English. I had to say the prayer my first night back... in English. That probably the hardest thing I have ever done!

09- Using modern marvels. I woke up one morning to use the bathroom. I entered and glanced at the trashcan and thought, "why in the world is it so far away from the toilet?"... Yeah, you can flush the toilet paper here.

08- Not visiting people every day. Even when people were busy or didn't want to listen at least we got to talk a little bit.

07- Feeling guilt for even thinking about not exercising. I don't feel that now. Maybe I'm just lazy. I know we have to take care of our bodies and it's really important but now I can say tomorrow and feel okay about it.

06- Eating lunch with the members. Maybe some people wouldn't agree but not having to worry about who's going to make the food is a huge blessing. I loved it!

05- Getting letters! There is just something special about ripping open an envelope and reading handwritten words. It's amazing.

04- Having a set schedule and goals and plans for every day and every hour. I sure did get a lot done! Which reminds me I need to get a planner...

03- The funny things people would say like, "my dog can smell evil" or "I'm gonna call the PO-lice on ya'll!"

02- Knowing that I was helping someone feel God's love. I loved it when people would say, "I just feel better now" or "You bring a peace with you".

And last but not least...

01- My name tag. It was special time to be able to declare with boldness that I was a representative of Jesus Christ.

I know that life goes on in it's natural course. We should always be changing to have more confidence, more faith and definitely to be more Christlike. We learn and we grow and we continue. And that's something that I'll always be grateful for- the chance to have these experiences. Aren't we blessed?