Oh, Life

You know, I think the ability to laugh at one's self is a priceless quality to have. Kind of like my experience at the DMV the other day. I was the ONLY person there! It was completely dead. A lady took my picture and then I stood waiting for 10 minutes while this lady typed away at her computer. I signed a few things then she printed out my temporary paper license. I grabbed it and walked out to the car. When I glanced down at it, I saw myself half WINKING back at me. That's right folks. ONE of my eyes was half closed. I kept asking myself HOW this could happen. Why didn't the lady say anything to me? NO ONE else was there. NO ONE. The lady didn't even ask if I wanted to look at it. You know, maybe it's my own fault for not asking. I don't know. I can't change it now. All I can do is laugh because it looks so ridiculous. I was trying SO hard to look good for it too! Anyways, another fun story. I was at a school today being a lunch supervisor for an elementary school. Kids would raise their hands and I would help them open their cardboard milk containers (remember those? uck!) or tell someone to stop being annoying or help the kid who lost his tooth. This one cute 1st grader raised her hand so I went over to her. She looked at me shyly and said, "I just realized something! You're beautiful!". Wow I felt great about that. Only to 20 minutes later to have another girl raise her hand and shyly tell me, "You look like my grandma!". I still haven't figured out what I should take from that. I only know that it's pretty funny. I can't stop laughing! She was so sweet about it when she said it too. Oh, life.

Of Kites and Things

Wow. Something seems to be getting in the way of me flying a kite (and don't say it's me!). Okay, okay. Yes, it is me. I just can't seem to do it! I get so frustrated! My hair gets in my eyes because of the blasted wind and the string gets tangled and then the dog runs and bites the tail of the kite! Seriously, I struggle. Here is what I've come up with while failing to fly a kite.

You need wind. Not too little, not too much (yeah, did you know it could be too windy to fly a kite?). The kite can't go anywhere if it doesn't have something pushing against it.

A friend is always nice to have. It's hard trying to run and hold a string tight while waiting to see if the wind is picking up. A friend will give you encouragement when you want to kick the kite and will make a joke when you just want to cry.

Sometimes you aren't the one who can make it fly. I was in the middle of wanting to kick the kite when the dog came and grabbed the string. I started yelling at him but as I followed the string upwards, I saw the kite flying in the sky! The dog got it to stay longer in the sky then I could!

When the kite actually does fly, it's the best feeling in the world. Things are working out just right and everything is just nice. Not that it didn't take a lot of effort to get up there... it takes a lot of effort (for me) and it's something you have to work at.

Now, what did I learn from this?
1- Kite flying is HARD
2- Everything in life has to have something pushing against it... at least I think those things are the most worth it
3- Friends are invaluable seeing that they can encourage the lost, lonely, and DISTRESSED
4- Sometimes things aren't in our hands. We need to turn to the Lord and give Him the string so He can make it fly.
5- Enjoy when things are going well. Think of all the trials and hardships that got you there and be grateful for THOSE things. It made you appreciate what you have all the more.

The Little Things

I like to keep track of the things that make me smile. For example...

• The little kid at the park, while throwing his fist in the air, "Puppy Power!".
• Realizing I had been at school all day with my shirt on inside out.
• My little sister questioning me, "You're speaking... pork and cheese?". Hahaha Portuguese!
• Rolling down my window to yell at a friend on the street. Only to realize I didn't roll it all the way up after I had gone to wash my car...
• Substituting a 2nd Grade class and after I told them my name hearing exclamations like, "She must live in a field and be dangerous" or "Are you danger?".
  
• Failing at flying a kite :)
• Reading my 17 year old sister a good night story.

Hmm... how can life not be good?

Eu vou para o Brasil!

The day finally came when all my wondering and guess work finally came to an end. After random dreams and sidetrack thoughts, I now know where the Lord wants me to serve His children. Through the years, I had dreams about Hawaii and about speaking Italian. I was preparing myself for the States and hoping a little for Europe. I knew I wouldn't care where I went, but I was not prepared for what I was about to get...

... and that was the Brazil Porto Alegre North Mission.

Never in my wildest dreams did I EVER think I was going to South America. When I got back to Provo after opening my call, I was still in shock. Still am a bit to be truthful. I went for a walk and grabbed my Book of Mormon. I asked Heavenly Father, "Why Brazil?". I was so confused. It didn't seem to fit at all.

I felt like I could have accomplished great good in the States. I felt comfortable with the language and like I was able to express myself. I felt like I could serve well in Europe or in some German speaking place because I knew a little of the language. I thought I was more prepared to serve in some other capacity.

As I contemplated the reason I was needed in Brazil, the realization came that I kept saying "I". I could do this. I could do that. I wanted something that I could do by myself.

I felt humbled as I realized that I'm going to need a lot of help. I can give my all but that still won't be enough. I feel completely inadequate; however, I think that sometimes that's a good thing to think.

This isn't about me. I had my Bishop tell me that going on a mission is all about how we have an older brother and others need to know about Him. Those words are so true. I might be changed in the process but it will all be because of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. Proclaiming His name and teaching by the Spirit.

I bet there are a million different reasons I'm going to Brazil, that was just one. I needed to realize from the start that I will need a lot of help. I do need help. We all do and sometimes it takes facing a seemingly impossible challenge to see that.

Doubt Not, Fear Not

So I've kind of been freaking out about my mission call. What if I have to learn a crazy language? What if I speak English? What if I'm the worst missionary ever? Or lastly, what if this is a big mistake? What if... what if... what if... fill in the blank.

While waiting to do baptisms at the temple, it just hit me. Come on Kyrie! Remember? How could I have forgotten my favorite scripture? Doctrine and Covenants 6:36 "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."

"It may not be on a mountain top or over a stormy sea, it may not be at the battles front my Lord will have need of me." He knows where I need to be.

I'm so excited to see where I am assigned to serve, for I know I will love those people, no matter where they are. I will first and foremost be called as a MISSIONARY. And while it's exciting to see where I will serve, NOTHING beats the privilege of being an instrument in the Lord's hands.

Doubt not, fear not. It's in the Lord's hands now.

Perspective

It's all about how you look at it...

Not looking far enough

From the side

Or maybe backwards

Only seeing the shadow

Out of focus

Or straight on

Perspective makes all the difference. Ask yourself...

Can I see the whole picture?

Do I have a skewed perspective?

Am I focusing on the right thing?

Don't get caught up on one thing. Stop. Look around and see the beauty in all things from every angle and in every way.

Seeing a Different Road

-Robert Frost

I sang this song in high school and thinking about what I thought it meant then, is completely different now. Not the main message changes but that life has changed me and how I view it.

Random Ramblings... you can skip it if you want...

I remember imagining myself looking down that other road and knowing it was better, but only seeing a lonely journey. Almost like I had been shoved onto it. Not that it wasn't a good road but it was definitely less taken.

Now I read this poem and I see something quite different. I see that we come upon many choices in life and must choose or our journey comes to a standstill. Sometimes we think we can go back but that's hard to do. It makes all the difference to choose now and choose what will make us happy. It is only when we make decisions based on what we want and especially what God wants for us, can we look back and see that the road less taken really has made all the difference.

... The main point is...

As life goes on, hopefully we gain some wisdom and perspective as we change, learn and grow from experiences.